The Forum's Final Fantasy XIII-2 Badfiction

[Agent Dunham]

Content Warning: Most certainly, definitely, regrettably contains NSFW content

Update: Wow. It's been, like, an hour and I already hate my own creation. Good job, guys!


This is an idea that came up in the wake of being shown Topless Robot's Fan Fiction Friday feature.

We, as a forum, are going to write a shitty fanfiction for Final Fantasy XIII-2. Will it be "erotic"? It can be, I suppose, so long as it's not too bad. Otherwise, we'll get a reputation for being gross and Square Enix won't talk to us any more. ):

How will this work? Well, we'll each post no more than a paragraph (here defined as 7 lines of text in the default forum style) at a time and each participant must (quasi-logically) continue the portion provided by the preceding member.

E.g.

Spoiler:

Member A starts writing about how Lightning has spent her day cleaning the glorious Etro throne - with her tongue - and ends their post by stating that a giant technicolour chocobo has appeared to eat her shoes.

Member B must write about the giant technicolour chocobo that wants to eat Lightning's shoes.

This is a collaborative effort. Everyone is helping each other and contributing. You cannot illogically discard a scenario in favour of one of your own.

E.g.

Spoiler:

Member B posts "Lightning told the chocobo to get fucked and it left." They then create a new scenario for the rest of their post.

Whether or not you have contributed adequately will be judged by me and maybe some appointed moderator overseers if you take to this idea. If I (or the potential we) feel you haven't, your post will be removed without warning , along with those stemming from it. See, you'll not only hurt yourself, but others. Don't be a dick.

What is at risk of being deleted? Short posts (generally fewer than three full sentences, though will be judged on a case-by-case basis), posts that are obviously trying to ruin the "game" (saying something like "And Noel decreed you were all gay", "A nuclear bomb wiped out the entire world"), anything discourteous to other contributors or their work.

So two people posted at the same time/near the same time and you're not sure who to continue from? Continue from whichever post is displayed first. The second post will, unfortunately, be deleted but you will be free to reintroduce any new ideas later.

You do not have free reign. If members are consistently trying it into a Caius/Yeul paedophilia foreign object rape fic, then that ain't cool and those people will be removed.

A note on spoilers: Don't spoil the game. It's only been out for a couple of weeks, be cool. If this lasts for a month or so, I might lift this and simply provide a blanket spoiler warning at the top of the thread. For now, though, keep a lid on it. You will have to earn the privilege to rip off the game's plot points.

The badfiction will continue as long as people are willing to properly contribute. If it winds down to two people, I will end it. If people run out of ideas, I will end it. If you get too stupid with it, I will end it.

Sorry to be such a cop-out for its birth, but I shan't be kicking this off proper. Instead, I leave that to you. The first contributor (first come, first se-- provide) must write about Snow terrorising Serah's students with ghost stories. Extra emphasis on TERRORISING




If enough people complain about the thread's location in SHFL (for... musical reasons), I will consider moving it to Off-Topic.

[Oracle]

Snow sat down on the floor amidst Serah's students. The lights were dark as he told the frightening tale of a young prince named Noctis. He was at the end of his elaborate story, and as such, the children in front of him were quivering in fear. Serah looked on, unamused and full of rage. She would hate him for this, he knew. She and Lightning had that in common.

(I'm feeling very uncreative at the moment so someone will have to tell the tale. But interpret this as a lead in to whatever comes next.)

[Lymle]

"Snow Villiers! What in the name of our good savior lady Etro are you doing?!" Yelled as she turned on the lights without even asking for permission. She put her hands on her waist and stood up in front of his blonde fiancé. "You know they won't be able to sleep after this. I won't have my students looking like zombies tomorrow at class."

[Ethan]

It was at that moment that Snow saw one of Serah's qualities that just go him going. Embarrassed by the rise in his trousers he tried to hide it from the poor children. "Sorry kids, she's right, you all run off now. Me and Teacher have some work to do." Snow said while giving a suggestive look Serah's way. She was pissed, but he could tell she wanted it. She was already...

[Oracle]

...moving her items off of her desk. Snow reached and grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Her breath was hot on his, and her breathing soon became labored. Sweat began to collect on her brow as she undressed. Snow did the same. Just as he was about to remove his boxers, the door flew open with a loud bang. Serah tried to conceal her naked body, but it was to no avail. Snow turned around to see Noel standing in the doorway, his face a mixture of shock and...something else.

[Lymle]

"I... Ah... Serah... What are you even..." He turned around, noticeably blushed by the view of Serah's petite figure with no clothes. The pink-haired girl jumped off the desk, ignoring her half-naked boyfriend. "Noel! Please, you don't need to go" Said as she grabbed his arm. Noel looked at her once more, to find out that she forgot to cover her mammary glands.

[Mike]

Staring at the sight of Serah and her less-than-impressive mammaries in front of him, Noel was unsure of how to react. Confusion, yes... Maybe even curiosity. However, the sight of Snow, standing there, boxers almost off of his body, did many, many more things to his body. "Well, if you insist..." He said, making a note of moving that little bit closer to Snow. A rise of his own was starting to occur. "You, uh... Don't have to stop on my behalf there, tiger."

[Oracle]

Snow was taken aback. He didn't like this stranger, and he certainly didn't like the way he looked at Serah. "Fine," he said after glaring at Noel, "but I'm not letting you have Serah. I'm her hero, not you." He removed the last of his clothing and his member sprung free of its loose constraints. "If you want her, fight me to the death, here and now. Take off your clothes so you won't have any advantage or potential weapon." Noel did as he was told, and then rushed at Snow. The two fought furiously, and the last thing Snow saw was Serah's face looking down at him as Noel strangled him. After a few moments, he lay motionless, dead on the floor of Serah's classroom.

[Lymle]

"Is he... dead?" Serah placed her hands on her chest. She did not really want an answer to that question, but her thoughts were interrupted by Noel's breathy voice. "I'm sorry, Serah. He got what he asked for." He looked down and couldn't help but scream when he noticed his yet undressed body. As soon as he started picking up his clothes from the floor, Serah stopped him while whispering in his ear "You won't need them for what's coming next, Noel..."

[Ethan]

She threw Noel to the ground, right next to Snow's lifeless body. As she straddled him, he looked on at where they were about to meet. His eyes traveled up her lithe body, drinking in the milky white complexion. Finally, with audible gasps from the both of them, they were one. Serah started to ride Noel's member like she used to ride the Chocobos back home on Cocoon. It was fast and furious, sweat flying everywhere, both gasping, when suddenly, Serah starting to shake and gasp uncontrollably. At first, Noel thought she was just about there, but upon looking up at her wide eyes, he saw the unmistakable golden symbol.

"Serah! No!" he shouted, half concerned for her well being, half concerned about blue balls. The shaking and gasping stopped and she collapsed on top of him... lifeless...

[Mike]

Serah hung lifelessly for what felt like hours, though it was barely even a minute. Everything was covered in total darkness. Then, suddenly, a massive convulsion spread through her body, and she was knocked back to her senses, Noel screaming her name as if he had been forever, still halfway done with their business. "Are you okay?!" He shouted.

She moved her hand to her head for a second. "Must have been another vision... But... All I remember is darkness..." She said, still feeling dazed and slightly afraid. Then she looked into his eyes, and he into hers, and it was as if nothing had happened as the passion took them over again.

[Chat Noir]

Serah rode Noel into bliss. Every part of Serah's body caressed by Noel's callous hands was burning hot out of ecstasy. They went on for minutes, their minds blank not thinking of anything else anymore. All they have is each other. Losing his control, Noel got up and carried Serah by her legs and slammed her onto the wall; he was like a beast whose hunger hasn't been sated for years. "Noel, ah, ahh..! hhnn!"

[Lymle]

Both Noel and Serah were this close to reaching their climax when, suddenly, they heard a noise. Serah stood up inmediately as she picked up her dress while Noel mimicked her. They weren't even finished when a familiar voice made their hearts stop for a second "Am I interrupting something?" A white-haired lad was standing at the door. Noel looked at him as he finished buttoning his pants "Hope! We, uh... Is there something wrong?" Hope tried to pretend he didn't notice what they were probably doing before he showed up. There was no time for that. "Noel... I... There's something I need to tell you. Serah, would you excuse us?" Serah, overwhelmed, nodded. Noel left the house with Hope by his side.

[Mike]

As they were both a fair distance from the house, hidden from public view, Noel turned to face Hope. "So what was it you wanted?" He asked, still kind of embarrassed, the remnants of his moment with Serah still visible.

"I was going to speak to Serah, but when I walked in... The sight of you there, wearing... Well..." He cleared his throat, and started to blush. However, in a moment of confusion and sheer frustration, Hope found himself almost literally ripping his clothes off. Noel merely stood there, a slight look of surprise on his face, though when Hope was done a smile appeared on his face.

"Well, now you're talkin'!" He exclaimed, beginning undressing again as well, and within moments Hope found himself pressed against the side of a building by Noel, both naked as the day they were born, all over each other, two rises occurring at the same time.

[Lymle]

Hope stared at New Bodhum's enchanting night sky as Noel's hands traveled across his slightly muscular pale body. He couldn't help but moan when he felt an extremely warm humidity around his manliness. He pulled Noel's hair as he started moving his hips to maximize such pleasant sensation. "Noel... You're way too good at this. It's almost like you have some previous experience." Noel smiled mischievously as he stood up to kiss the young Academia president.

[Ethan]

Noel's thoughts instantly went to bygone times with his lover Caius, pleasuring him night after night. Noel was suddenly brought back to reality by Hope's increasing moans of pleasure his hands furiously running through Noel's hair. Not wanting this to end any time soon, Noel released Hope's wet member from his mouth and roughly turned him around. "Oooh" Hope cooed at the sudden change of pace. Noel gasped audibly now that he was faced with two milky Cocoons of perfection. Noel parted Hope's cheeks and saw his prize. He dived in, suddenly feeling ravenous.

"OH!" shouted Hope at the sudden wet invasion, but he couldn't deny how good the wet and warm tongue felt on his most private place. Feeling an adequate amount of lubrication had been applied with his tongue, and eager to get on with making Hope his, Noel got up quickly and slid himself slowly into Hope opening...

[Chat Noir]

...but he pulled it out all of a sudden. "Wh-why..? Noel--" "I want you to beg for it." "Wha--" "I want you to shout out my name and beg for it." "B-but you know that I ca-- Aah!", Hope gasped as he felt his member rubbing onto his hole. He was teasing him. "I just- Noel, I-I want you to ruin me.." "I can't hear youu.." as Noel slapped one of his ass cheeks. Hope winced in the pain and couldn't take it. "NOEL PLEASE! I WANT YOU SO BAD-- AH!" he screamed as Noel pushed himself back in and started to move back and forth in a fast pace.

[NotitsMan]

A rustle in the bushes announced Serah's arrival on the scene. The two young lovers disentangled, their sweaty bodies heaving with aroused breaths even as their cheeks flushed with mortification. "Serah, I-!" Noel began, but she simply shushed him with a playful smile.

"You don't have to explain anything to me. I just couldn't let you boys have all the fun. Besides..." she trailed off with a coy giggle, "I think poor Noel is going unattended. Mog, what do you say we help him out?"

"Kupokupo!" cried the eager little fuzzball as he spun in the air, and in a puff of white smoke transformed into an enormous pink dildo with the girth and length of a human arm, studded and ribbed.

[Agent Dunham]

Some disturbingly eager beavers are forgetting the definition of paragraph that was outlined in the opening post.

post no more than a paragraph (here defined as 5 lines of text in the default forum style)

Also, spoiler tags are for pussies. Stop being pussies. BE LOUD AND PROUD about your sick, sick depravity.


This isn't even that bad. It's just generic yaoi fanfiction. GET WEIRDER. /totallynotfuriouslyjackingoff

[Ethan]

I just couldn't stop myself at times. It was just flowing out of me like bi-fiction vomit.

And am I the only one who likes the song in the background while reading?